I, we, me, us
Something I’ve noticed lately is that in the absence of my guides, I’ve begun to rely more on all the other versions of myself. All the lives I’ve lived, everything that is ME in this life, and everyone who will become future versions of ME.
I admit to finding this very comforting. I no longer feel so alone – we’re all here! Just inside my skull – we’re all here, and we are together.
The concept of TOGETHER is something that I really miss. And I mean it in a very wide sense, not only as in being together with a partner. I mean people who are close, family. I’ve felt alienated from most parts of my family in one way or the other, my entire life.
So the sense of being TOGETHER with all those other versions of me… it is beautiful.
And just to clarify – I am not talking about dissociating to the degree where my personality splits (DID) and a number of separate personalities emerge. No, no – nothing like it. These are all separate from me, and we are all aware of each other (although, of course, we’re one and the same).
I haven’t counted how many of ME there are, but we’re many. Seems like I’ve lived (and will live) many lives. I couldn’t for the life of me (all pun intended) describe any of them, what kind of life we’ve led, or anything else. And it is irrelevant – what matters is that we are together, united.
And they – we, are so supportive. We just gather around me, and the strong sense of TOGETHER and love is very, very strong.
So who cares if this is my imagination? Who gives a shit if this is just something I make up? In my head, it’s true. And if it makes me feel good, I’ll take it. Any day.
While not, perhaps, relevant to the concept of I, we, me, us, I still absolutely adore the size of my mind, of my inner world. It is sooooooo big, and there’s room for soooooo much in there. I can’t help but be fascinated by it, and want to explore it as far out as I possibly can.
And I’d love to meet people who are interested in sharing it with me. Their own journey, of course, but to share experiences of these things. Not that many people I know, are like me. And I’ve come to realize that for closer relationships, I would prefer people to meet my level of intelligence. I want substance in my life, and most people don’t give me that. I miss it.
And while I love to dwell on the inside of my skull and everything and everyone in there, I still like to feel connected to people out here, in the physical, manifested world.
But to go back to I, we, me, us – I cannot express in words the level of gratitude I have for our presence. I feel like… well, like all that’s me, all that which I sometimes feel cannot be contained by this body, this life – with them around, there’s enough room to contain US. Everything that’s US, is spread out through all our lifetimes, our separate lives.
It’s bloody brilliant, it is. Just saying.
Anyways; this post is written mainly to remember the experience of all my previous and future selves, united and supporting of this specific body, person, life. My life does get fuller and richer by every experience I recieve, that’s for sure. ♥