Elusive me-child
It is with great pleasure I can say that, step by step, I am returning to where I was before the examinations for my breast cancer began.
In December, I realized that I was too close to going right back into an active sugar addiction again. I decided to change that after New Year’s Eve, but I actually got started the day before NWE.
This is what I have done, so far;
- Spent five days eating eggs only (and butter)
- Continued eating eggs, but added minced meat or bacon, small portions
- Returned to my yoga mat 6 days/week, instead of 3 times in general
These things, including the fact that, for five days I’ve been smoking only when taking Boyo outside. That means I’ve been smoking about 6 cigarettes a day, instead of 1½ – 2 packs of cigarettes.
All of these things are important and relevant in my work to re-gain control of myself and my life, who I want to be, et cetera.
And that’s why I also need to note that when I reached out to greet myself on the yoga mat, I had a glimpse of myself as a child. She – and I call her like so because obviously, she’s a child, and I’m not, was quite elusive and quite a tease with her presence.
The reason I reached out to her/me-child, was because I want her/me to start re-programming us regarding food and sugar. These new habits are working how I like them too – my body is already starting to change, and I like to keep it that way.
But I need her/me to re-program our habits with food, especially our mindset about it. I also need her/me to work from the inside to re-shape our adult body.
My goal with all this work is to have a strong, healthy – and beautiful body. I’m one year away from 50, so I don’t need a body that looks like 20, but I want to feel happy with it.
I want all of me to be projected through my body. And since I, for the first time in my life, feel like I am a beautiful person through and through, I want it to be reflected in how I look.
Shallow – perhaps.
But I don’t care. I want to feel beautiful, that’s just the way it is.
Me-child and myself agreed that we should start doing the work on each end. We’re connected, but we need to work from our own time.
Exciting times, for sure.
And eventually, I will reach my goal. One day, I’ll look into the mirror and feel happy with how I look.