Recently, while giving gratitude after my yoga practise, I was swept into an experience. I was presented to what I refer to, a Sun Sword. A sword of sunlight – holding it is like stepping into the sun. Really and truly. Surprisingly, it was presented to me by my mother. I did not expect that – at all.
One thing I am deeply impressed by all of my guides, my spirits, and this beautiful power animal I recieved, is their ability to deliver information and messages to me in a way that really make me understand what they are giving me. I am a very visual person, so when I started journeying like this (but with drums) I expected my journeys to be just that – visual. But they are not. It is mainly pitch darkness, in which I can sometimes see the shadow of a something, a glimpse of a face – but no more than that.
What they do, is that they show me scenarios or give me experiences through which they put loads and loads of information. It is my job to unpack and make sense of it. Sometimes, it takes me a while to understand everything that they want me to know, but so far – I do get it, in the end.
Sometimes, they seem to notice where I am in my life, and identify problems I wasn’t really aware of myself. Or, stuff that I am aware of but don’t know how to solve on my own. That’s when they step in.
That’s the case with this beautiful Sun Sword that was presented to me. Never heard of such a thing before, but it seems appropriate.
So – my life’s been built on me being the mirror to what other people expect of me. Mainly, my parents. When you’re raised like that, it becomes your first nature, and I could write so very much about that, but I won’t. Now, lately, with the situation I am in where I may hook up with a partner, I’ve noticed that I am starting to withdraw in terms of my own Self. A sense of Self I have worked incredibly hard to build. I noticed it from pretty much the start, and it’s been bugging me but I haven’t really known how to change course.
Until I was presented to the Sun Sword.
I think and understand very much through images and metaphores. That’s how to really get through to me. My guides/spirits/power animal knows that. So they presented me with a view of the moon, which made me understand the concept of being a mirror, always reflecting the light and shine of others but not producing it myself. After that, my mother came, dressed in a cloak that completely covered both body and face – and she was carrying this sword.
Holding this sword was stepping into the sun. It was becoming the sun. It was the experience of radiating light stronger than anything I’ve ever seen before. It was being blinded by my own light.
Not to mention; it was also not reflecting anyone else’s light. It was being my own, shining Self.
And the funny thing is, and I don’t remember if this was before or after, I was presented with other things in the material world, which very effectively reminded me that I do have a spine and a core and how to make use of them. How to stand up for myself, not give in to others too easily, to maintain that sense of Self that took so many years to build and refine – and that I am actually very, very proud of.
After perhaps five months with this power animal, I am beginning to see how she works with me. And I am in awe. She knows which strings to pull, and when. She creates circumstances through which I’ll understand, remember and re-learn. She works in both worlds simultaneously, and it’s bloody amazing work she does.
I cannot even begin to express the level of gratitude that I have for her. Oh, for all of them, but since she’s in charge, my main focus is on her.
And she, so smug. It’s almost unflattering, but I can’t really help but laugh at her.
Now, with this Sun Sword. I don’t really know what’s expected of me – yet. It does come in handy, and I do understand that I somehow need to learn to keep that sword alight, like – all the time. To let it become part of me. I just don’t know how – yet.
I must admit my enormous fascination and gratitude for the world unveiling inside my head. Those journeys, untraditional as they may be, and what I learn from them – it’s amazing. I hope to go even deeper into this world, over time and with some help. I am sure my power animal will reveal whatever plans they have, in time.
And quite seriously; I can’t wait. Whatever will happen, I am expecting to have so much fun from now on. ♥
