Gratitude 220728
So, I broke my own promise to do an entire week of gratitude, before I even got halfway through. 😀 I got caught up in some other stuff (Thomas är Tone), and completely forgot. But here we go, continuing with some gratitude.
Key people
So, I’ve known loads of people throughout my life. Some of them are and have been absolutely amazing in one way or the other. Some of them have taught me things about myself that I didn’t learn or realize by myself. Others are fantastic mirrors, showing me the best qualities I have, and they bring out the best in me.
There are a few people in particular, where the lessons they’ve taught me are very clear to me. Two of them (three, actually, but two are sisters so I count them as one 😀 ) are so obvious to me. These people have given me much deeper insight, understanding and acceptance of my own body. I’ve suffered from sugar addiction and overeating my entire life. Add to that, taking medications that added even more to my sugar addiction. Needless to say, I’ve gained more weight than I care to think of.
But these people have given me insights and realizations that are worth so much to me. They have changed the way I see myself, the way I think about myself, and where I have been the most disgusted about myself they have asked the question: so? So what if you look like this or that? So what if your body is or does whatever? So?
And I’ve had no good answer to that question. Instead, it made me think, and realize that.. yeah, so what?
Body acceptance is huge in my world. I’ve always been ashamed of how I look, my weight, that I’ve never been one of those popular, cute girls in school, and so on. I still have body issues, but my yoga practise has changed my body beyond what I thought possible – so I’m getting there.
But accepting who I am when it comes to my body, is one step on the way of being present inside it. And for that, I’m grateful.
Beyond the veil
I am very grateful for my ability to see beyond the veil. It is something I’ve struggled with my whole life – not the ability itself, but whether or not I believe in it. My mom was a believer in all sorts of help-to-selfhelp-books, but had no selfknowledge or understanding of herself at all. My dad was a sceptic deluxe and didn’t believe in these things at all. He found them very strange, and was probably a bit scared of all of it.
As a teenager, I was very opposed to all this – because I didn’t want to be like my mom. I worked hard to be as normal as possible, but failed since I’m not. And at some point, I decided that I had to choose – and I chose to believe.
Now, I am highly sceptical myself. I believe mainly in my own experiences. There is a certain type of people who I’ll just never believe in; those who brag about how much they can see, understand and perform. It’s like they need to perform for the masses and be applauded – and I find it repulsive.
But my own experiences – those, I choose to believe in. No matter if it is my imagination, or something beyond the veil.
New acquaintances
Last summer (I think) I got to know Thomas through Facebook dating. We never hit it off, but were equally fascinated by the fact that our brains seem to work the same way. We’re both smarter than most (and proud of it!), so keeping him on Facebook was a no-brainer.
Recently (like, in the last ten days or so), Thomas came out as a transwoman. Her name is now Tone, and since she told me about it, we’ve been in touch daily.
So instead of a guy I never hit it off with, I have now gained a brilliant new girlfriend. And I’m thrilled. We met for the first time two days ago, to start the project of documenting her transformation (photography), and I think we both agree that we’re about to be really, really good friends.
Tone is the kind of person I would like to have more of. I’m happy with the friends I have, but like I’ve written before, I do miss having people with more substance and more intellectual resistence. She has that, and I reeaaaaally, really appreciate it. ♥
Dogs
Aside from having my own dog, I also daycare dogs. Presently, we have two of them – one who’s here a day here and there, sometimes for longer periods of time (sleepovers), and another one who is here few days a week.
It’s really good for my own dog, Boyo, to have other dogs around. For me, personally – I love hanging out with dogs. They help me keep my energy sorted and balanced, so I can handle them properly. It’s bloody brilliant, and I really appreciate it.
Luckily, it seems like there will be couple of more dogs coming into our lives. One older female who’s going to stay with us couple of days every other week, and possibly a male who, as I understand it, will be here on a daily basis through the weeks (mon – fri).
Of course, I get paid to do this. And the more dogs I daycare for, the more money I get. It also gives me experience, which I highly, highly appreciate.
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And look at that! There was some gratitude to be found today, as well. That’s bloody brilliant. Let’s keep it up, and find some gratitude for few more days – and see where to go from there.
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Oh, and real quick, one more thing. Tomorrow (the 29th) is the anniversy of the daughter of a friend of mine, who died last year on July 29. I met my friend shortly today, to give her a necklace I made. She was very happy to recieve it, said it meant a lot, and I said it meant a lot to me to give it to her. It sure felt good to do that for her, when there’s not much else anyone can do. ♥