Rejection
Luckily, not the rejection of myself, but rather the rejection of stuff I want to remove from my body, mind and spirit. I’ve done it before, and it just struck me that I should write it down, so I can remember, just in case I forget.
When I was done with chemo therapy, I found that I stank of poison. I don’t think I really did, but I felt a very weird, brown-ish, metallic stink from myself. Other women told me they experienced the same smell, and told me it’d stick around for quite a while.
I decided one day that I didn’t want to have that stench just under my nose any longer.
What I did was, just as I went to bed – I had a good look at what the source of this stink was. I had two images. One was a rather large pool of oozing poison, lodged at the centre of my body. The other one was a horror movie version of myself. Once I knew where the smell came from, I simply told it, very assertively, to leave and not come back. Especially the horror movie version of myself.
And who knew? 😮 She left, and I haven’t felt that foul, disgusting stench at all since then.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with fatigue. It is of course summer, and I am tired/exhausted by that alone. Add to that, I’m still recovering from chemo, and there’s no bloody wonder I’m still worn out. It is effecting the walks with Boyo, which annoys me – but he, too, is heat sensitive, so I need to be careful with him. But it’s also been effecting my yoga.
So, yesterday, as I began my yoga practise, I pictured my fatigue as a human form, walking behind me, slowing me down. I told it very firmly to unhook itself from me and leave, because only one person can fit inside this body, and that person is me.
It is leaving. Two days in a row I’ve done a slightly extended yoga practise (step by step, mind you). I’m still annoyed it’s summer, but the last heat wave didn’t stay long.
The power of the mind is astonishing.