Imbalance

The journey I did today didn’t turn out to be what I expected. As usual, one might argue.

I am so very tired. For the past six months or so, my sleeping habits has been more messed up than for a very, very long time. It’s like a bloody roller coaster, and very, very tiresome.

My initial purpose to travel today, was to get help with how to rid myself of my stress intolerance, and how to move forward. This autumn has been amazing, but also exhausting. With the plans I have for my life and my future, I need to change a lot of things to make it work. For that, I need help.

Instead, I found myself in a roller coaster sort of dance with some of my spirit guides, including my power animal. Shortly thereafter, they all faded into the darkness that’s always in my journeys.

What happened was some sort of introspective experience. I noticed that there is something about my left eye that is pulling me down/backwards. Much as with the left side of my waist. There’s also something with my feet that’s obstructing me.

I doubt that there is anything physically wrong with me, that keeps me from moving on. My guess is that there are mental/psychological/spiritual issues that’s gotten stuck to certain parts of my body, telling me I need to do something about them if I want to move beyond where I presently am.

Which is fine by me.

Now, I just need to find out what’s spiritually going on with the balance between my right and my left side. Having bipolar disorder, I am closely acquainted with the idea of imbalance, so it’s not really a mystery. Just need to find the imbalance, and correct it. It might be that I just need to ground myself. I feel very un-grounded, ever since the experience with chemo therapy.

As for my feet, I just shifted one pair of indoor shoes to another. The ones I shifted to, are better than the ones I’ve worn for about a year or so. We’ll see if that helps.

At least I know what to do for a while to come. That’s a good thing. I know where I want to be, only not how to get there.

Progress and moving forward is the shit, for sure.