Change, not release

I made some sort of a journey yesterday. With my drum. Didn’t do that much, though – or at least I don’t think it did. Doesn’t feel like it, not during, not right after, not now.

I did just have an aha-moment, though.

A bit different from what I expected, but I’ll take whatever I can get.

I was set on the idea of ridding myself of thoughts and ideas that aren’t mine to begin with – stuff inherited from my parents. There are a few of them being extremely resilient, refusing to let go of their grip on me.

But then I realized – it is not necessarily what I inherited that’s the problem. Not anymore.

The real problem is how I keep thinking and talking about myself, in certain aspects.

It does resonate with Don Miguel Ruiz and the way he instructs to mind how one uses language talking about oneself (and the rest of our dreams), so this is something that I’ll need to work on.

At the moment, this is very strongly connected to my ability to make money from what I love.

I keep telling myself that I am a lousy seller, that nobody is interested in what I do, that I am not at all commercial, that I need others to get by.

This aha-moment made me realize that, rather than releasing these thoughts, I can change them into something constructive instead.

And to me, it makes sense.

Who is the biggest obstruction to life, hmm?

Oneself.

It’s time to become my greatest fanclub and the main drive in making my own money, and a future that I can be proud of.

It’s time to be mindful of where my thoughts go, and what kind of reality they create.

This will be an interesting project, for sure.