A new year is coming up. Again. Funny, how these things works. Especially when one doesn’t really believe in time as a concept. But – there it is. Soon, it’ll be 2024, and I have spent some time pondering on what to do with this brand, new year.
2023 hasn’t really been a good year for me. Well, it was good that all the chemo and radiation treatments ended, and that I have recovered fairly well. But that’s pretty much the only thing that actually has been good.
The recovery and healing process has been long and slow, and it’s still in process. Surprisingly enough, I feel quite fine, physically. Mentally/emotionally, too. What is still annoying, is the complete lack of stress tolerance. I didn’t have any before all this, and now, it’s even worse. Being on all these treatments left me quite burnt out, and that’s what I have been dealing with the most.
However.
With this new year ahead, I thought I’d come up with some sort of plan for what I want to focus on. There are too main key concepts that I strongly believe will make quite a difference for the upcoming 12 months.
- Daydreaming
- Social life
Daydreaming is something I haven’t really engaged in since.. I can’t even remember. Probably in my teenage years. I found a friend at FB Dating, whom I’ve been writing with for couple of months, and he asked if I daydream. And once we started talking about it, I decided that daydreaming needs to be a part of my life. And the funny thing is, that daydreaming very well could be a way to manifest – just by not putting any demands, any expectations, any nothing, on it. I am going to just daydream, and not expect anything from it, other than the pleasure of doing it.
I feel good just by the thought of it.
And then, social life. For the past… well, since the start of Covid, I’ve isolated myself to a very high degree. I’ve spent so much time on myself, I’ve convinced myself that I don’t like people (which I don’t, in general, but that’s another story), and I’ve been locked up in my apartment with Molly and Boyo, for years. The last month or so, I’ve realized that bloody hell, I need to start seeing people again. People I like, people I get something out of. Making new friends. Preferably with similar interests to mine.
Aside from these wonderful little ideas, I am also going to use my new calender to keep track of some habits I want to create and maintain. Some of them, I already have – some of them are new.
Over all, I actually feel very good about this. I haven’t felt this positive about a new year, for a very, very long time – if ever. New Year always was quite traumatic for me when I was younger. I used to have severe anxiety attacks early in the day, with enormous fear of what was to come.
But now – I feel like… bring it on, show me what you got, give me of all the good stuff, I can’t wait.
It is a very interesting feeling, when you’re not used to it.
I think the whole idea is to shift my mindset from all the heavy weight of cancer treatments, recovering and healing, constant pain in my right heel, et cetera, into a mindset filled with happiness. I want to fill my life with joy and laughter. That’d be fun, as a change to who I’ve always thought myself to be – serious.
Oh, and as a side note…
My hair.
My hair is growing. I have recently begun calling it hair, not a furry hat. It’s still too short, but it looks like hair. From now on, it can only get better, and the longer it gets, the more I’ll recognize myself in the mirror. I am going to thrive when I don’t have to feel so bad about it, and whine so much about it. I am going to love my hair – no, I already love my hair, but I am going to enjoy it more once it’s the length I want it to be.
But – my hair. ♥
So, yes. 2024 is going to be a good year, I think. Oh, and another good thing that’s happening in 2024 – I will finally be done with my debt settlement. That does open up a number of doors for positive change. That it in itself is worth daydreaming about, a lot.
2024 – bring it on, baby!
