Life force
I usually say that I inherited most from my mother’s destructive patterns and beliefs, but frankly – one of the greatest gifts, I got from my dad. And it’s funny, because he did not believe in anything but the material, physical reality that most people stay within.
But what he gave me is an enormous will to live. At least it started out that way. I realized that – well, some time ago. Can’t really remember when, but it’s a matter of years. What it has turned into recently, however, is a pure beam of energy, of raw power. It’s an upward movement of energy and power, and it does not bend or move away for anything. It will break through concret, iron, crystal, ice, rock… it has to do with growing, I think, and it is so strong.
That energy, that power, is running directly through me. Yesterday when I went to bed, before falling asleep, it had my entire body vibrating – it was so powerful.
I’m not sure what it means, though. What I am certain of is that it has to do with my power animal and the rest of them, but I have no idea of what it means, what I’m supposed to do with it. And I think I am supposed to do something with it. Just don’t know exactly what – at least not yet.
Oh, but I do know one thing. This is the force that is going to keep my body clean and healthy from now on. Being reborn does all sorts of weird things – cleaning up on the inside of your body is one of those weird things. As odd as it may sound; I think this chemo treatment is doing just that, as well. While it is probably doing loads of damage, I think it’s taking care of a lot of stuff that needs to come out.
But that life force, the energy, the power – that’s what is going to give me a long, strong and healthy life.
I just wish I knew what I’m supposed to do with it. That superstrong energy, that is. It’s there for a reason. Anyone could see and admit that. I know I will get my answers – eventually. I am fairly certain that they will open the door for me in a fairly near future. I’ll get back in touch, and hopefully they’ll show me what I am supposed to do. The only thing they’ve told me – and that was quite a while ago, is that I’m supposed to be a storyteller. But that could mean just about anything.
I admit being just a tad bit impatient. It feels like there’s some sort of change coming, and for the first time in a very, very long time, I feel ready.
And bloody hell – can’t it just happen, then!? 😀 I want this growing energy/power to do its thing, so I can discover what’s going to happen, what I need to do, et cetera.
Of course; it could be something as simple as myself becoming who I am supposed to be. Perhaps even learning to manifest properly, since that is something I feel like I am lacking.
Regardless of what it is; I think I’m ready. I’ve been waiting for a change for a very long time.